The harder you work, the more you will ruin your carpet.

In a fine example of sods law I come to realise all effort is fruitless and the harder you work the more likely you are to fail.

I fought may way home early today even going as far to take a taxi e.g paid abduction by the worlds most boring man. The boring cabbie managed to talk for twenty minutes without saying anything interesting until we were nearly outside my house. Then he said:
-Nice 'ere innit'?
-Yeah
-Yeah nice an quiet innit'?
-Yeah
-Yeah I loved quiet but I got sick of it when I lived in a cordless village

I couldn't bring myself to ask, though what I should have said was "A cordless what?". I mean I didn't even know villages had cords. I knew History teachers wore them, but whole villages? I mean what next? Exploding toast?

Anyhoo, I got home early because I was looking forward to a nice curry. I had all my ingredients and stuff and had made my own sauce and everything.

There it was on its plate, I had it on a tray, I was watching TV, life was good. Then I quickly placed the tray on the table, it was hanging over the edge a bit, I plop my glass down, the tray flips over and upends curry on my beige carpet.

I honestly have never been so angry, which says a lot about me I know, especially as I served in the army for seven years. It explains my slow progress in that job.

So, I put in the work, and what did I get? Toast and peanut fucking butter for tea. Treat.

This is pure, unmitigated proof, that hard work just leads to more hard work. As I grafted over my curry all I got was more graft washing my carpets with Vanish.