Review of a book I haven't even finished

Hello nobody (deafening sound of nobody caring).

At the weekend I was doing my monthly book buy. Yes, unlike, it seems, everybody in the world I actually go to something called a shop to buy books. Crazy as it sounds it allows you to find books yourself rather than a website telling you that you "might like" this book, or "other people who bought this book bought" (often followed by a list of absolute crap).

I thought my proposed anti-amazon legislation should be made public now. I mean come on! How did this ever take off. Amazon is fine for an obscure title that you really need for studying or something, but if you are so fucking lazy and that much of a philistine you can't be arsed to look through the "Crime Fiction" section in a bookshop then you should jump off a bridge...a high one.

I have never bought a book online except text books because last time I checked they didn't sell those in Waterstones. I remember when there were bookshops all over the show. Ones that didn't sell coffee, didn't have bean bags for the kids, anything. Just fucking shelf after shelf of lovely literature. That's how things should be, reading isn't a social activity and never will be, but going shopping is. So even if you are a hermit that lives in a castle and all you do is read, at least you could get out and buy some new books. Now all the self respecting swamp dweller needs is a modem and he's got books.

That's part of the argument isn't it? What about people who don't live near a bookshop/ library etc? Tough shit, you live that far from civilisation that there isn't even a bookshop nearby you were probably an extra in Deliverance. This is a constant thorn in my side, people who live in rural areas should learn that if you live in the middle of nowhere then you don't get the same service as those of us who choose to live with the rest of society.

There was a real shit storm recently about how slow broadband was in the countryside. Well Duh. Somewhere that only gets one bus a day can probably live without it.

Basically I miss the days of bookshops that weren't WH Smith, Waterstones or a bit near the counter at HMV. I like to browse, I hate thrillers and self help books or big heavy coffee table shit heaps about gardening, cooking or interior design.

Here are some books you should read that you can probably find on Amazon but will be half the fun of stumbling across them in a dusty bookshop on a wet day (or they will actually be supplied by a third party company called Big Bastard Bills Book Bollocking Burn Up Bonanza.com):

• The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy Series by Douglas Adams (Your life is not complete without reading these books)
• Humphrey Hawksleys Dragon strike series (The most in depth geo-political thrillers on the market)
• The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
• Bill Bryson's complete works
• Terry Pratchett's complete works
• The Worldwar series by Harry Turtledove (True Sci-Fi heaven)

I could go on and I will for a few more paragraphs. My main point is this: buy your shit in shops. Shops employ people, shops keep buildings full up (anyone like the look of all the empty book shops, there is an empty Borders near where I work and its a fucking eyesore now. Thanks Amazon), full buildings give other people work too. If we buy everything online our cities are soon going to look pretty fucking bleak.

So yeah, that's me told because I'm the only one that reads this shit because I write it.